A very dear and wise friend pointed out something rather insightful about me recently, and as with most things people say to me, it has stayed with me as I continue to process it. To paraphrase, she said people have different ways of dealing with hurt/trauma/abandonment. There are people who continue to hurt others the way they've been hurt, and then there are people who want to uplift the people around them and make them feel like they're somebody. There is a caveat with that, though, in that you can go too far trying to provide happiness for others that you sacrifice your own. Coming back to that balance is what I’ve been working on. It goes back to the investment principle.
You can't help or change what things have hurt you in the past. You can, however, control how you respond to it and how you redirect that toward the people around you. You always have a choice. I have great respect and admiration for people who have dealt with very difficult things and still manage to be quite wonderful people and positive influences on others. It's hard work, but there can be beauty in the scars.