Thursday, February 13, 2020

This is surprisingly therapeutic for me. Just setting the timer and feeling whatever I want to feel. Freedom to do anything. Somehow it helps process emotions. It's like being an actor in a one frame scene. Different characters but still me. Different sides. Different places. I've never really spent time exploring this and putting in the effort to make it happen.

This has been an exploration in how I see myself. Maybe I didn’t really like self portraits because I didn’t really like me. I’m working toward being better and learning to accept myself for the first time in my life. I hadn’t been shirtless in public in probably 20 years. I didn't like how I looked. Being open enough to share something like this is hard. Trust me. I could hear people’s negative comments already. It’s a nice feeling to not be ashamed of myself, though. It feels good to be stronger and do things I've only ever dreamed of. I have a couple fitness goals for 2020 that I'm still working toward, and I still have a long way to go. I'll get there because I've already proven to myself that I can make it this far.

People can and do change. Sometimes slowly. Sometimes quickly. Change for the better. Learn to forgive. Say sorry first. Master your emotions. Focus on being the person you wish you had in your life. Be the father you never had. Be the friend you always wanted. Don’t worry if people don’t appreciate it. Do it anyway, and be content knowing you had the strength to be that person. Do it for you. I promise you, that is where you will find happiness. Your circumstances can change, things can be lost, and people can leave. You’ll always have you, so be someone you’re happy with. Be kind, have courage, and be better than you were yesterday.